Inebriating The Medulla Oblongata

can’t face what I see in the mirror
my face
And it ain’t gonna last
not last night
not this morning

pushing it
trying to make the dullness right
can't be won
reality always comes
lost again

it hurts too much
when even the coffee helps
but not enough
and I feel stupid
it ain’t gonna last

speaking of conversations
the people I don’t respect
have crept up on me
taken over myself

And it ain’t gonna last
not again
and forever
the wanting is gone
it wasn’t before
even if it sometimes
feels like love
or the absence of it
that is not enough
not for me

but it ain’t gonna last
not now
lost again, goodnight
and forever