Abbie Hoffman

The Last American Hero??

Abbie Hoffman was a 60's American yippie that fought for truth and justice against the evil forces that sought to end civil liberties in America.

For his efforts, he collected little thanks but ridicule and apathy from the mainstream press. That's okay. The mainstream press is a cannibalistic whore. And Abbie is my all-time favorite American political superhero.

To be fair, Abbie sometimes acted like he suffered one blow to the head too many. He declared "war" on angry coppers as he fought hard to regain personal freedoms lost during the Cold War. This was very dangerous to his personal health. He got beat up by cops for speaking out. People considered him to be dangerous. And he was. Abbie could make a revolutioonary out of a choir boy, and Abbie was constantly tailed by the Feds.

Abbie knew that life in post World War II Pig America was a living Hell. He resolved to change it. Abbie felt the American government should exist for the good of the people. And not the other way around like it does. Abbie worked his magic by speaking to student groups, organizing, and clowning around in matters of national security. This culminated in the now famous Chicago 7 trial.

Abbie smoked pot, snorted cocaine, and made revolution his lifestyle of choice. He wanted to seize power. He thought Che Guevarra was cool before it became fashionable. He wrote a bestseller even though it was blacklisted from every major bookseller in America.

But young Americans in the 60's, fired up from the 50's romantic notions of motorcycles and speed-fueled rebellion, turned defeatist in the final hours of the social battle. The overturn of the status quo failed and Abbie was disconcerted. Pig Nation had won the war. And Pig Nation still rules us.

America went from Global Zero to World Power in a very short period. During this time, the original intentions of the peace-loving, protectionist United States went to Hell. We started getting involved in more wars. These were the "kill a commie for Christ" days of Korea and Vietnam.

This basically forced millions of mild-mannered, would-be communists to act like they loved America regardless of its policies. Parents were afraid to discuss their political views with their own children for fear of losing their jobs. Peace loving people had to go to War because of half-wits like Richard Nixon. Freedom was only for capitalists and conservatives now.

Abbie Hoffman ended up on trial facing charges of National Conspiracy. He was honored. Abbie was finally face to face with the enemy. In the 50's, McCarthy's HUAC (House Unamerican Activities Commission) was used as a vehicle to prosecute communists and to ruin their careers. The evil and stupid Ronald Reagan was an early informant to McCarthy. He ratted out Hollywood, became a Republican, and a new champion for nuclear supremacy.

Yea, Ronnie Raygun. Thanks a lot guy and enjoy Hell when you finally die.

By 1973 the revolutionists were taking Quaaludes and dreaming about gay disco. Retired hippies were taking corporate jobs and having babies. Then came the brain dead children of McDonald's food and Reaganism. Everyone started saying no to drugs. Everyone started saying yes to nuclear bombs. For the first time in American history, stock brokers were sexier than rock stars.

Abbie Hoffman couldn't deal. He spent the 80's reflecting on his many social victories and failures. And writing books. Any book you can track down by him is well worth reading. He mainly writes about his own life experiences and what he believes in. He also wrote one of the first anti-drug testing books that is still in print.

In an enlightened future, Abbie Hoffman will probably be remembered as a 60's folk hero. He was one of the brave souls who spoke out publicly against the American fascism that mysteriously arose after World War II.

Abbie Hoffman committed suicide in 1989 (coincidentally the same year that George Bush took office as President). It is my theory that Abbie was too proud and beautiful to live through this brutal world and his own slipslide into irrelevance.

I will always love Abbie. One day when the American war mongers all die, he will get the reverence he deserves. I hope I live to see it.

- written by Sloth


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